Michael Talks, bullshit walks…

If you don’t know what H.O.A. stands for it is ‘Home Owners Association’. Usually comprised of a committee that oversees the functioning of it’s assigned neighborhood and also enforces community standards and covenants.

Unfortunately, ‘master boards’ (as they are often referred to) dole out such alluring titles as president and vice president, oh yeah and treasurer & secretary, which sometimes attract a certain type of individual. No not a good one but those who are lacking a little something in their feeling of self fullfilment or their over all self esteem. Some might use the words power monger wannabe or even grade school victim to describe the types who seek their position of power in this micro government.

What often happens is something which we observe in everyday politics but on a much smaller scale. The folks who are finally able to achieve their goal of having some type of power over others start to change. Similar to the way a ripe piece of fruit spoils in the sun over time and then becomes rotten and useless. We all know what happens in the ‘real world’ when people rise to power. They become jaded, corrupt and yes even lawbreaking citizens. The power corrupts. These individuals start to actually believe they are special or even better than everyone else. They inevitably stroll down that dirty path of ‘do as I say not as I do’. Well, it is unfortunately the same in smaller ‘political’ venues such as Home Owners Associations. It actually may even be worse because of the type of calculating and bored people this shoe in ‘elected’ body attracts. You’ve got to know that you are not really acheiving anything grand when a committee is begging people to join for god’s sake. And just like real world politics the same old, stale & pompous individuals get their claws into these committees and they stick around and stick around and stick around. Instead of sitting home watching tv or playing with their cat Fluffy, they now actually have something to do every second Monday of every month… Go to a master board meeting!!!

Now the funny thing about this whole situation is that there is really not a whole lot for the ‘president’ and ‘vice president’ and the other string alongs to do. These communities are setup to run well by non other than lawyers. So what happens??? The board needs to keep busy and justify their energy & effort & time. They nit pick. They harrass residents who often are doing nothing but living their life and being good neighbors. ‘Hey, you can’t put flower pots more than 5 feet from your dwelling. What are you thinking?!’. ‘Parking your car in the visitor parking lot? Are you nuts??? We don’t care if it’s always empty. You live here you’re not a visitor!’. ‘No American flags larger than 3′ x 5′ and don’t even think of using a flag pole higher than 6 feet tall. I could go on and on with the endless list of stupid rules that no one cares about except for these bored losers but you get my point.

So what do these vigilant community leaders overlook? Dog shit everywhere. Large dogs running around off their leashes. Why? Because it would be too much work for them to enforce these rules. Remember they are on the committees for self gratification and definite power as well as to mold the community how they want it. This ‘job’ is not about actually working and getting snubbed by the residents. So it all goes back to nit picking at stupid rules that no one cares about but are easy to enforce.

In closing I would just like to raise my left & right hands and extend my middle finger to the folks who serve on these committees. It is too bad you lost your high school election for president or vice president or one of the other assorted posts. It would have saved all of us homeowners a lot of grief. Pathetic.